Ever moving...

Haven't written here since before I left for Deeper Life...

And life has become deeper, crazier, scarier, harder, more fun, stressful, real, alive, tiring, hopeful...and the list goes on. I just want to be free and alive...

Also...I just want to be honest and say that I am not a huge fan of Blogspot...I just don't care for the set up...and I am quite attached to my original blog at www.apeacefulstill.wordpress.com . I though that this new place of writing would encourage me to journal life's events and the learning process of just living, which it did for a while. But when I look at my sidebar on wordpress and see my list of archives and months that I have been writing and sharing there I just feel so happy...I have been writing on wordpress since September '08, almost a year! I know it's more of my creative writing style, more artsy, more emotional, more lyrical, and poetic...but really that is more me than this is sometimes...because most of the time when I stand back with everything stripped away, that is how I see life. I see scribbled poems, future songs, folk and world melodies, abstract paintings, bright vivid colours, deep earthen tones, rich, smooth memories...and that is how I like to write about life. I don't really think I am much of an analytical documenting kind of a person, I can certainly pull it off if I want to, but I would rather keep writing in my dreamlike, Utopian style...I am a dreamer, I am hopeful, I am filled with wonder and streaming emotion...and I would like to keep it that way. So with all of that lengthily said I guess that maybe I will keep this blog up from time to time, or maybe not...I'm not sure yet...but I will be writing more often on wordpress, where my memories, stories, poems, songs, pictures, and life is stored. So I hope that you will continue to follow both and find inspiration through it all.

Thoughts from Walmart.

before I start let me just note that it is after one in the morning...so there is a pretty big possibility that most of this will be quite interesting...as in most of it should probably be left in my head.

I had a pretty long day starting with running the He-Brews mqt. coffee shop while my dear Hannah and Alex were preparing to embark on their journey of shows, family wedding, music fests and other such awesome activities. The day went well and I felt so blessed to be there. And I felt like I was right where I needed to be.

Then I went to walmart. That line in itself should evoke very dramatic feelings. Because Walmart can be a very horrid place. So sometimes I feel like its my job to make Walmart more down- homey/dramatic/hippy-ish/interesting. So I went around talking to random people whom all blatantly ignored me...it was sad...first it started with my wondering aloud on why Crayola had to make their watercolour paints washable, it made no sense to me at all, whats worse is they don't even give you a regular paint option...so now even crayola is taking on the socialist stance and telling me what kind of paints I have to paint with. LAME. That ordeal was followed by my mother asking the walmart stocking guy to open a shipping box of Kleenex so she could select the one she needed.......wellllll I just had to go and tell him that the colours of the kleenex boxes that were packed on top would not do because they didn't match the walls of our house...and I also told him that we were very particular about that, because Kleenex boxes were a serious part of our home decor...both him and my mother ignored me. I said I was kidding, didn't help apparently. Then I ventured into the coffee isle ( I know its practically a sin when in Walmart) but I was staying far away from Foldger's fresh roasted sawdust to seek out some good tea, which Walmart happens to have...sometimes. Anyway Anna walks down the isle and says "just get your coffee and lets go!" to which I replied (in the general direction of the boy unpacking the coffee) "I would never buy coffee from and institution such as this!" ..."obama" ....then he looked at me, and I looked at him...he ignored me so I left. I tell you its impossible to make friends in walmart!!! I even tried with the check out guy but he didn't talk at all even when I asked him if I was annoying him. Walmart is a sad case. We should pray for walmart...maybe.

I decided that Northern isn't for me either...because I was informed that classes were pretty full...so why be an english major if I have to settle for cheap karate credits? In all honesty though, I am still praying about everything and really looking forward to this coming week at Deeper Life where I can imerse my self in the word and in the direction that He is calling me...I know that I can and should be doing that all the time...but lately I have become so discouraged and exhausted from it all. I think its because I have been ignoring God when He has been saying " Sarah, come...I will give you rest....Just get in my word and I will show you things you have never seen before" Its like I'm a walmart worker or something towards Him. Im not fake, I don't pretend to have it all together, I don't pretend to be super spiritual or have a deep perfect relationship with God when I know I need to work on things. I know that part of my problem is that I haven't been in the word enough...I understand, so I don't ask for sympathy, but encouragement...I don't ask for answers, but for prayer. God is still the focus of my life...He is my rhthym, I mean that honestly...Im just not always on the same beat.

Hey I just wanted to write real quick about a certain metal band that I find pretty inspiring and amazing...their name is Abide and they hail from the beautiful town of Marquette...hey I live there! Those guys are out there on the frontlines of music...well in our area atleast...and they are living and breathing what they preach...not like they are perfect saints, but the fight everyday to stay in the race. What they do is their ministry, not some dream to make millions under the "christian" banner. So check them out and support them please http://www.myspace.com/abidebandEven if you are like me and not so into the metal scene, I love what they are doing and thats what matters...plus those boys are pretty talented...just saying. Annndddd as our He-brews family would say, they are br00tal. Speaking of which lift up He-Brews and everything they do in prayer, they are amazing people.

It's probably time that I go to sleep. I have big plans for tomorrow. Love you.

Movement

The sun is pouring down on me while I sit here trying to catch this blog up…with a nice mug of green tea. Yes, I know it has been such a while since I have written…I have a collection of excuses, mainly along the lines of I just couldn’t write, couldn’t find the inspiration, or the time, or motivation…blah blah…But I am back now.
The past few weeks have brought on so many changes and movements…all which I am very happy took place…These weeks have been hard, heart-breaking, confusing, frustrating, elating, violent, peaceful…full of joy. And I am happy to report that I am once again moving…breathing…
So I have begun attending a new bible study at a café/venue here in Marquette…I have fallen in love with the people and the ministry…At first just my sister and I were attending and meeting some new people...but week by week it has been growing as a lot of our friends and other students have been coming…I am so excited for what God is doing in this place with our people.
Today I started reading "Surprised by Hope" by N.T. Wright…I am only a few pages in…but his concepts and ideas seem very interesting…So I shall be writing about that later. I also finished Rob Bell’s "Velvet Elvis" …LOVE that book…please go and get a copy. It is one of the best books I have read…plus I just love Rob Bell so yeah.

There is so much I want to say…so much that I would like to express…I am just having a hard time doing that in words…So many relationships have been healing and it brings me such joy! I am so happy to have a couple of my close friends back that I had lost…I love them so much…and I am glad to be deepening my friendships with others as well…This is the time of healing.

I am soon to fill out my application for the Alliance Church in Indiana…I am so sure that this is where I am supposed to be…I always told people that I could never picture myself in any given place, doing any given thing, with any given person…I said that I was lucky if I could see myself doing next week! I can finally see myself living in the midst of His ministry…and I can see myself becoming through the ministry school in Indiana…I am still praying about this all the time, I am still keeping my mind and heart open to other options. My dad and I are going to drive down there sometime after I return from Hawaii to meet the people and for my interview. This prospect brings so much happiness to my heart and soul.

Well my tea is almost gone…and I have other things to get done before I head out for the night…I wish all of you much peace and love.

Dawn Is Here...

We got a snowstorm! Yes...I really love the snow...I really just love this city. It is so very windy right now...I would like to go down to the lake and see the waves..they must be high.

Last night amidst the strong melodies, laughing, dancing children, and coffee, was the unmistakable presence of the Holy Spirit...there is nothing like coming together and worshiping in Spirit and in Truth...it brings such life and movement to my soul...From the inside I can start to feel myself wake up. How beautiful it is to see joy, hope, love, and peace captivating the hearts of all who were in that room...the little children, the parents, the youth, the leaders....how amazing it is to be in community with those who love Jesus. I wish that I could just pour out in words what took place there...So much joy to be in the middle of reality, honesty, and complete beauty. I also wish I had pictures to post...I really need to start taking my camera with me. Let us keep breathing...

My soul holds so much right now...How I wish I could just transform all the movement into words...I want to record how it is that my breath goes in and out...how this world keep on spinning. One thing I know is that God is everywhere...and everything is spiritual...Those who say there is no God continue to breath and in their breathing they are saying His name...the artist knows how bizarre their own mind is and out of their deep movements they produce worship whether they intend to or not...How wonderful that He is flowing through this world.

I believe that Indiana is where I am to go...I think that this internship is what I need to do...So pray. The only thing holding me back is this city I love...My heart feels almost tied to Marquette. But I will be home at breaks so I suppose it will not be so bad.

Well the sun has just broke through the grey clouds! This makes me so happy...and my tea is gone...maybe time to make more...But anyway I shall bring this to a close...May you live today..and breathe...may you know the deep Love that He holds for you...and may you continue on in His transcendent peace. Blessings. Shalom.

Ambient

There is an underlying hope in my soul today...and it is growing like excitement.

Today as I was leaving class one of the guidance counselors stopped me in the hall to ask how I was doing and such. He always takes time to talk with me if he sees me...he is always asking about my plans and future hopes...So we were talking about my Indiana vs. Northern choice, and he asked quite a bit about the Muncie Alliance Church internship. It is interesting talking with him about what I am doing, because he is not a Christian yet he is always so interested in what I believe and why...He was telling me about his brother who he referred to as a "born again Christian" ..that made me smile...Apparently he knows a lot of people who do missionary kind of work in other countries...But anyway towards the end of the conversation he just stopped and looked at me and then said, "This is what I suggest you do...you don't have to listen to me because It's just what I think, but do you want to know?" ...and of course I leaped at the opportunity for any kind of direction....he just said this "Go to Indiana" ...and that was it...like he said it in such an assuring, confident way. Almost like he knew exactly where I was supposed to be...And this is coming from a high school guidance counselor...those people are usually interested in getting you into college...and he was supportive of the idea of not attending a college...I found it all very encouraging..especially from someone who is not a Christian, he was telling me to go further the world for Christ basically. I know that God speaks through people all the time, and when he said "Go to Indiana" the first thing that rushed through my mind was..."Oh my God! ....you just answered my prayers" I guess I can't say for sure that it was God telling me where to go...but I do believe that all this collective encouragement must mean something...and the thought of God speaking through and using my high school guidance counselor thrills me. So that is my very long update on my future progress.

Today is one month exactly until I turn 18....haha I am so not sure why I am writing that but I am waiting on some kind of brilliance to come. I leave for Hawaii on my birthday...

Ok so this whole writing project is supposed to be about my progressing, moving, breathing, growing, learning, creating, being healthy....and so on...Lately I have not been doing that, so my apologies..but at the same time I think that it is ok to recognize those times when you aren't doing so well..when life seems it's at a stand still...or when breathing just becomes quite shallow. This journal is about life...and so guess what...I am going to write about it!

Time for some discoveries....

I came by this today and thought it was pretty awesome
http://www.jedidiahusa.com/home
I love how they are using artists to bring peace and love on earth...Jedidiah has aligned themselves with many musical artists such as Haste The Day, Josh Garrels, and Anberlin...they are also working through traditional artists, athletes, and a clothing line to bring the message of hope to our world.

This band is from Reykjavik, Iceland...and they are just so cute! there is something fun and sunshiny about their music
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=6948483
Cat Piano is probably my favorite song...how adorable!

Time I bring this to a close...

Conclusion- There is no greater Joy than that of Jesus

Progressions...

This city is quickly filling up with new snow...And so the progression of winter continues...How I love watching it gather up around the window panes and bottoms of the trees. The roads are quite treacherous though, so please stay safe if you are living and driving here.


The painting is coming along...



I'm hoping to finish this piece...and show it at the Glacier Glide art showing....

It has been good to have my brushes in paint again...I have no idea why but I tend to just slip out of my artistic habits...maybe in the pursuit of something I think better? Which never really works out. But I am back to painting now...so goes this progression.






I read a lot...I love finding new places and topics to read about...Wandering about the library and searching blogs is a favorite of mine...I cannot even remember how I come about the things that I do but here are some interesting things I have found today...

http://www.enthos.net/

They have such interesting clothing...read up on who they are and their business, I think you will find it quite interesting. Let me also add that they have amazing graphic design and web design...Art anyone? mmhmmm

Music review for the day-

http://www.joshgarrels.com/

Check it! the perfect eclectic/acoustic/ambient/coffee house music...Josh blends together his unique thick voice with folkish guitar patterns and jazz influenced rhythms. He often sounds as if he is experimenting with world touched melodies. But that was all said while listening to one song..now that the next is playing, I am not so sure. See this man definitely has his style, and I love it..because it is so simply un-nameable. This is music for the progression of living and breathing...


Progression of art...may I bring to you intrigue and fascination...

http://www.zackandgalabent.com/

...Two artist who are best friends...and married. They have such evocative work, I have no words to try and describe it...you must go see for yourself.

I think that the earth has collected a few more inches of snow since I began this...Everyday writing is different...Some days all thoughts and realizations come pouring forth, seemingly out of nowhere...and then some days it is a slow drip of consciousness, as today is...

Conclusion: Today is a day of progressions.

The Project of Living...

This new place of writing for me has excited my desire to expand, live, learn, and grow...Here I begin my project of living creatively. I am filled with joy for the possibilities and opportunities ahead of me, but at the same time finding myself a bit hesitant. Why? I wonder...Part of me feels as if I will not follow through, or this may be just a momentary rush of inspiration that could quickly die off at any disappointment or indication of monotony. In any case I have created this new blog as a place for me to write and post what I am learning, the places I am going and seeing, the people I meet, how my life is becoming, and just my general oddness. I will still be keeping up my wordpress: http://www.apeacefulstill.wordpress.com/ That is my place of literature, poetry, journals, and random thoughts.

Today is the day I begin my journey in searching for new ways to live creatively...new ways to see God...new ways to live...new ways to breathe...

Stay with me as I share in what God is unveiling to me...the things I will be creating...what I will be learning...what is influencing me...where my life is going...

I pray that you also may start your own journey in finding who you are in God...may you be inspired and encouraged by what I have to say and share. And may you experience the joy of living in the midst of His shalom.