Ever moving...

Haven't written here since before I left for Deeper Life...

And life has become deeper, crazier, scarier, harder, more fun, stressful, real, alive, tiring, hopeful...and the list goes on. I just want to be free and alive...

Also...I just want to be honest and say that I am not a huge fan of Blogspot...I just don't care for the set up...and I am quite attached to my original blog at www.apeacefulstill.wordpress.com . I though that this new place of writing would encourage me to journal life's events and the learning process of just living, which it did for a while. But when I look at my sidebar on wordpress and see my list of archives and months that I have been writing and sharing there I just feel so happy...I have been writing on wordpress since September '08, almost a year! I know it's more of my creative writing style, more artsy, more emotional, more lyrical, and poetic...but really that is more me than this is sometimes...because most of the time when I stand back with everything stripped away, that is how I see life. I see scribbled poems, future songs, folk and world melodies, abstract paintings, bright vivid colours, deep earthen tones, rich, smooth memories...and that is how I like to write about life. I don't really think I am much of an analytical documenting kind of a person, I can certainly pull it off if I want to, but I would rather keep writing in my dreamlike, Utopian style...I am a dreamer, I am hopeful, I am filled with wonder and streaming emotion...and I would like to keep it that way. So with all of that lengthily said I guess that maybe I will keep this blog up from time to time, or maybe not...I'm not sure yet...but I will be writing more often on wordpress, where my memories, stories, poems, songs, pictures, and life is stored. So I hope that you will continue to follow both and find inspiration through it all.

Thoughts from Walmart.

before I start let me just note that it is after one in the morning...so there is a pretty big possibility that most of this will be quite interesting...as in most of it should probably be left in my head.

I had a pretty long day starting with running the He-Brews mqt. coffee shop while my dear Hannah and Alex were preparing to embark on their journey of shows, family wedding, music fests and other such awesome activities. The day went well and I felt so blessed to be there. And I felt like I was right where I needed to be.

Then I went to walmart. That line in itself should evoke very dramatic feelings. Because Walmart can be a very horrid place. So sometimes I feel like its my job to make Walmart more down- homey/dramatic/hippy-ish/interesting. So I went around talking to random people whom all blatantly ignored me...it was sad...first it started with my wondering aloud on why Crayola had to make their watercolour paints washable, it made no sense to me at all, whats worse is they don't even give you a regular paint option...so now even crayola is taking on the socialist stance and telling me what kind of paints I have to paint with. LAME. That ordeal was followed by my mother asking the walmart stocking guy to open a shipping box of Kleenex so she could select the one she needed.......wellllll I just had to go and tell him that the colours of the kleenex boxes that were packed on top would not do because they didn't match the walls of our house...and I also told him that we were very particular about that, because Kleenex boxes were a serious part of our home decor...both him and my mother ignored me. I said I was kidding, didn't help apparently. Then I ventured into the coffee isle ( I know its practically a sin when in Walmart) but I was staying far away from Foldger's fresh roasted sawdust to seek out some good tea, which Walmart happens to have...sometimes. Anyway Anna walks down the isle and says "just get your coffee and lets go!" to which I replied (in the general direction of the boy unpacking the coffee) "I would never buy coffee from and institution such as this!" ..."obama" ....then he looked at me, and I looked at him...he ignored me so I left. I tell you its impossible to make friends in walmart!!! I even tried with the check out guy but he didn't talk at all even when I asked him if I was annoying him. Walmart is a sad case. We should pray for walmart...maybe.

I decided that Northern isn't for me either...because I was informed that classes were pretty full...so why be an english major if I have to settle for cheap karate credits? In all honesty though, I am still praying about everything and really looking forward to this coming week at Deeper Life where I can imerse my self in the word and in the direction that He is calling me...I know that I can and should be doing that all the time...but lately I have become so discouraged and exhausted from it all. I think its because I have been ignoring God when He has been saying " Sarah, come...I will give you rest....Just get in my word and I will show you things you have never seen before" Its like I'm a walmart worker or something towards Him. Im not fake, I don't pretend to have it all together, I don't pretend to be super spiritual or have a deep perfect relationship with God when I know I need to work on things. I know that part of my problem is that I haven't been in the word enough...I understand, so I don't ask for sympathy, but encouragement...I don't ask for answers, but for prayer. God is still the focus of my life...He is my rhthym, I mean that honestly...Im just not always on the same beat.

Hey I just wanted to write real quick about a certain metal band that I find pretty inspiring and amazing...their name is Abide and they hail from the beautiful town of Marquette...hey I live there! Those guys are out there on the frontlines of music...well in our area atleast...and they are living and breathing what they preach...not like they are perfect saints, but the fight everyday to stay in the race. What they do is their ministry, not some dream to make millions under the "christian" banner. So check them out and support them please http://www.myspace.com/abidebandEven if you are like me and not so into the metal scene, I love what they are doing and thats what matters...plus those boys are pretty talented...just saying. Annndddd as our He-brews family would say, they are br00tal. Speaking of which lift up He-Brews and everything they do in prayer, they are amazing people.

It's probably time that I go to sleep. I have big plans for tomorrow. Love you.

In Prayer

My Brothers, my sisters....

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent-not to put it too severely.

The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him

Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.

The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.

If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven-if there was anything to forgive-I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
2 Corinthians 2:5-11


Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:14-15

Let us lift up our hands just as they are so that they may be washed clean and pure. Let us hold on to the ones among us who have hurt and are hurting. We must love.

I love you who are heavy upon my heart...I look at you and see God's child, do not become illegitimate, but claim your blood line.

All my Love and Peace....stay gold,

S.

Was called to....?

Today I flipped open my bible...mainly because I am supposed to, sometimes it gets way too easy just to read a few verses just to shake the guilt or so you can raise your hand in church when the preacher asks if you are in the word everyday. Blah. But anyway what I read was way encouraging to me, so I wanted to share because some you brothers and sisters need this too.

Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for Christians everywhere,I have never stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people.

I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power.
Ephesians 1:15-19 (NLT)

For Today

I am considering staying here in Marquette. Without any specific plan, which is almost scarier than moving to Indiana and hoping that Alliance is going to get me somewhere. It feels like the door for Alliance is slowly almost gently closing. I sit here and take a deep breath because I am ok with staying here, but it's just a bit frustrating, I feel like I have been lead all over.

A friend told me recently that if I wanted God to lead me somewhere that I had better start walking. What a concept, haha...Sometimes I think that I just sit here and cry out that I don't know where to go, but God isn't going to spell it out in the sand or something...I need to take those steps and see where I end up...I also believe that as long as we are focused on God and willing do what He wants, then he will work through and bless whatever we do.

But anyway I am happy to be residing in this Love song of life...His love song. My perfect rhthym...The Strong Melody.

The Strong Melody

Today is a pretty darn beautiful day...the trees have erupted in green leaves and the branches of the cherry trees are heavy with pure, white flowers. Oh how He loves us! There is something about this spring that feels so much like freedom for me...Winter was long, cold, and tiring. The earth has been set free from the icy arms of winter and now we can all breathe as water again is flowing and there is song from deep within the winds, from the breath of the newborn.

Let us become like spring...maybe just re-birth a little...let our spirits flow again and our song be in His rhythm. Let us break through dark earth to unfold our hearts before his feet as do the flowers of the fields. Restore once again our breathing green, our vibrant gardens...Let us burst forth with life. Spending each morning rising and turning towards the Son, the days laying in His light, and nights swaying to His evening melodies. I want to feel the sun set on my chest...and the cool night air un-do my day. To be restored. His people will be restored, made new like the land has come alive. How I want His breath to fill up my lungs.

And then...Let there be a movement of His people...let us rise and bring healing to the nations...a cool water to the thirsty...peace for the weary...Rest, restoration.

Stand Still No More...

As usual too many days have slipped in between posts...and every time I write something new it starts out with that same obvious statement.

I was reading psalms today...I haven't read psalms in a really long time...but I think that it is one of those books that you always go back to...well maybe just for me...but I lived off of Psalms for the longest time...When things in my life were not so pretty and where I was felt like a wasteland. The fact that David openly wrote to his God about his depression, pain, hardship, his want for death, and pleas for deliverance astound me. In one chapter he was extolling his LORD in the highest possible way, threading together lines describing His awesome power and presence, but in the next he was barely breathing, barely holding on...asking God why? This is hard for me, because in the churches that I grew up in and the "christian" groups and settings that I spent time in you didn't talk about things like that. If you had a problem, or sin, or some kind of issue you just were told to pray about it maybe go get professional help. It was like everything had to be kept pretty and together, so you had all these groups that consisted of hiding broken people and they wonder why things never got anywhere. You have to take care of the body. If we are not ready to heal each other's cuts then why are we here? Why keep inviting people in out of the world to only bring them so far? Why is depression and self-injury looked upon like a huge sin that can't be cleansed? Why do we as Christians have to be together and pretty all the time? Where does that get us? Maybe if we were open about where we were at and others were accepting and ready to heal then this "Jesus' life and love" thing might be just a little bit easier to grasp...just a bit more realistic. So after all that I just wanted to say that I find great encouragement from the Psalms.

I pray that we are filled with a thirst for God....for Breath....for Spirit....that we pursue Him with everything that we have...I don't want to be complacent...I don't want to be a part of nice "christian" programs and ministries that aren't really putting themselves out there. I grow so tired of standing still. Where are we going? Do we even want to go bad enough. I wonder what could happen if we recklessly centered our lives around Him who has saved us? Im not so sure its enough to call your self a christian, to maybe follow the "do not" rules....is it really enough to live a nice life going to church on sundays, maybe a bible study on wednesday? Why do you go? Really, w h y d o y o u g o ? Is there a point? Wake up Oh Sleeper and rise from the dead..let the light of Christ shine upon you. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO MERELY SLEEP THROUGH LIFE EVEN IF YOU FOLLOW THE RULES...are you living in LOVE are you inspired and moved by the Spirit?

May you realize that there is more to be breathed...more to love...places to reach...may you be filled to the point of overflowing so that you can spill throughout the world.

Catching up

Try to ignore the fact that about two weeks have passed in between these posts...as I am writing this I am even doubting that it will actually be completed...I have to leave for work soon...

Mornings are my favorite time of day...nothing is as amazing waking up early and watching the earth wake up around you...It is already pretty late, around 9:30 but the sky is blue and the sun is pretty high...today is going to be good...I can feel the energy starting to move, getting ready for the day.

I dont have very much in the way of life updates...just refocusing and redefining my relationship with our God...simplfying life...stripping away everything that is not of Him...My application is done for Muncie Alliance and will probably be sent out Monday...

Alright there are dishes to do and tea to drink before I leave...may His peace and deep energy run with you today.

It's snowing...whatever!

Today is April 21st...nothing too significant about that...except for the fact that we all woke up to a very "fairytale" scene...Over a foot a beautiful, glittering snow covering every surface of our MQT world...Now, I personally find this all to be awesome and pretty, especially since school was canceled...haha! yes!

Speaking of school...I am done! I graduated myself about a month ago...finished up my transcripts and I can't believe that High school has already come and gone...wow. So now I am in the process of finishing my application for the internship at Muncie Alliance Church...the prospects of ministry are so exciting for me, but still I am apprehensive...because Indiana is 10 hours away, I don't really know what to expect, and what if this isn't really where I am supposed to be, is there a "place" that we are really supposed to be? Or do you just go where you feel is best and God takes it from there? Questions and questions, it seems they never stop. It's difficult also because this school is unaccredited and nontraditional...it's different from the normal four year degree expectations everyone has of you. Ministry is a huge step of faith...and it always seems to be in question...where, how, when...why? Oh but apart from all worries...I am so absolutely thrilled to begin. And did I mention that they work in the area of my passion? COFFEE...aaahh yeaaah.

Coffee...Friday night we hosted our second Coffee House...people ask how it went, and well "good" doesn't aptly describe it...but neither does "bad" or "challenging" ...I guess the best way for me to put it, is that it just simply "went" I think God was really testing me as I struggled to keep my focus on the ministry instead of the logistics of putting on something good. Up until the night before I didn't know whether we would have an espresso machine or not...But thanks to the He-Brews and Cornerzone coffee shop ministry we were provided with an espresso machine and 3 amazing baristas. They went through so much to make sure that our night went down...not to mention their amazing musical abilities. This year included an art gallery along with the live music. About half way through the night, our drink orders were stacking up quite quickly and all of the sudden our espresso machine dramatically quite working...but about 5 guys and a bag of tools later it was up and running...A blessing in disguise because they needed the machine working for Fire-up this weekend, it would have been pretty bad if it had broken down there. Is it not interesting how God kind of just flows through everything?

Alex making coffee... Anna And Josh singing...

The Lovely Grace and her daughter Hosanna...

Beautiful Hannah and her awesome friend Rene...

Josh and Luke...Dancing, dancing!

So as you can see our Coffee House was quite crazy, fun, hectic, all in the name of our LORD.

This has taken me way longer to write than I expected...But I am so happy that I am writing that I don't even care...I love my blogging times...even though lately they are few and far in between...Sometimes when life keeps filling up your head and your heart you just forget to write...its like not taking the herbs when your ill...

Side note: while writing this the power went out, the computer shut off...and I was so disappointed that I lost my hard-worked-on post...Thank God and Blogspot for a beautiful thing called AUTOSAVE....gotta love this high-tech world.

A few pictures

I have left the beautiful islands...and I miss them already....especially Kihei...

I am quite tired so not much to write but I shall put some pictures up...